I Will Carry you, My child

Those words that Amy Grant sings seem especially relevant to my mood tonight....

I read a blog tonight entitled "Ten Years Ago" where a 28 year old woman shares that she has grown so much in the past ten years since she was 18..physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc...I needed this hope - the reassurance....what have you...I really needed to read that tonight. She talks about the mistakes that she made in the past and says that looking back she wouldn't want to change them because through her mistakes she learned and grew closer to Christ in the process.

Realizing that I am at the end of a road that once provided me with so much security and comfort and knowing that I have to move forward without having that crutch to fall back on anymore is causing me some heartache. I never thought that I would be so upset when this day finally came. The end of a relationship that has been so broken, so screwed up in so many ways is here. Tonight, I feel weak and vulnerable. I could possibly crawl under my blanket right now and cry my eyes out. I would probably feel better to let my emotions out. This is my fault, anyway. I definitely asked for it....but this time being remorseful isn't enough. But, I hear the lyrics of my favorite song at the moment and I believe with all of my heart that God is with me.


Cuz everything is a lesser thing compared to You
so I surrender all

Last night and last week and every Sunday when I am at church surrounded by people that nurture my spiritual life, I feel the presence of Christ in such a mighty and amazing way. I am so thankful that most nights I am able to be joyful and even when I'm not...I know that the Lord is with me.